Samantha Kimberly Ivey

Two-Months Old!
Monday, December 23, 2002 (02:54:54 PM)

You're two months old today! In celebration, we're trying to make sure you're well-fed, wearing a clean diaper, and comfortable. That's pretty much it. But I think that's what you really want for your 2-month birthday.

You're really cute now! You're starting to laugh -- well, more like squeal. You really like to play on the changing pad (that's where you get your clean diapers installed). I don't know why, but you really relax there ... usually. Mom sings to you and plays with you and you smile so much and get so excited that you let out a squeal. We finally had to get the cameras out and get some pictures and some video. This is a great time with you!

Tomorrow, we go to see your cousins in the South Bay. The next day, we fly down to see your cousins in Southern California. It's a tight schedule for your Mom and I really have to thank her for helping me make this holiday season work for us. I think it will be a great holiday for us all.

All my love,
Dad

Smiling... at me!
Thursday, December 19, 2002 (04:06:33 PM)

Yesterday you smiled again ... at me! I was trying to get some stuff out of your eye (you'd be surprised at what I find in your eyes!) and you started to smile. I touched your nose and you smiled some more. Then I was gently poking your cheeks. I'd swear you were almost giggling. It means so much that you're happy here with Mom and me.

Today you were hard. Mom had to go out for appointments and I was left alone with you. You usually wake up crying. We think stomach issues wake you up. You wouldn't take the bottle and I had already changed you and you still cried -- hard, desperate crying. I know you're not happy, but I really don't know what the problem is. That's hard! You cried loudly for about an hour this morning. Eventually, the product of your frustration ended up in your diaper and I got rid of it. Then you drank from you bottle and drifted off to sleep.

I see why people say having a baby is hard. I'm very glad Mom and I waited until we were ready. I can't imagine taking care of you before we were ready. That would break my heart to see you need something from me that I wasn't ready to give. Things that come to mind first are time and attention. In another time in my life, there's no way I could give you the time and attention I give you now.

And, you're fortunate to have your Mom. She always knows exactly what to do for you. I'm glad we have her.

All my love,
Dad

Smiling
Tuesday, December 17, 2002 (12:01:14 PM)

You're starting to smile. Most of your first few weeks involved only two moods -- (i) everything's sort of okay and (ii) something is definitely not okay. Being naive, I half-way expected you to smile right away. Having waited several weeks, it's absolutely wonderful too see you smile now. However, you mostly smile for Mom now. I can wait patiently until I have a bigger role in your life.

I've heard that being a parent is a thankless job. I don't see it that way. I see it as a chance to do beautiful things. One thing I like to do for you is erase your nightmares. In your first few weeks, I could see you struggle while sleeping. You'd toss and turn, sometimes grimace and even cry. It seemed you were having bad dreams. I can't imagine what you would dream about, having been outside of Mom's womb for only a few weeks, but I imagine just about everything is terrifying to you.

When I see you struggling like that, I gently brush your forehead and gently stroke your scalp. I just want to assure you that I'm here for you. When I do that, I can see you relax and rest comfortably. I like to think I'm influencing your dreams and making them more pleasant. Maybe I'm just waking you up just enough to stop the dream. In either event, I feel like I'm doing something small to make you just a little happier in ways that no one can predict. Maybe when you grow older, you'll have fewer fears, fewer worries. Who knows? Anyway, I hope it helps in some small way.

Mom said you guys were up talking last night (early this morning actually). You were moving your mouth and making noises. She was very happy to spend some quiet time with you -- one on one.

All my love,
Dad

Whooz Whooz Girl!
Monday, December 16, 2002 (11:58:34 AM)

Your Mom calls you "Whooz Whooz Girl" and sings you a song based on a Sesame Street song about Big Bird's playhouse. She sings "Whooz Whooz Girl is my only one!" over and over. Apparently, the real song goes "Big Bird's house is for everyone!"

She calls you "Whooz Whooz Girl" because of your Whoozit toy.

She used to call you "Sam Sam Bella Sam." I call you "Sam Sam."

Mom just handed you to me so I have to go now. More later!

All my love,
Dad

Samantha Kimberly Ivey
Sunday, 15 December 2002

This is a start of my web log ("blog") of my experiences with you. Of course, you're far to young to appreciate it now, but some day you might find it interesting. It's also my first attempt at a blog of any kind. I'm hoping to produce something you'll eventually appreciate.

Your loving father,
James D. Ivey